If you're easily offended stop reading now.
This is as far as you want to go.
For those of you still reading, you may or may not agree with everything I have to say here, but guess what that's why I'm writing it and not you.
Check back daily and I may or may not have updated, depending on how drunk or pissed I may be at any one time.
If you're reading this because you're looking for some political or social commentary on what it means to be living in the time of the death of the American Dream, somehow you have been misguided. I'm just gonna tell you about what pisses me off in-between jerk-off sessions, drinking and naps. Sorry.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I hate the H1N1 Virus and the Economy

I refuse to call the H1N1 virus the "swine flu". You can't get it from eating pork you fucking morons. I would really hate to be a pig farmer right now. If I was a pig farmer I would call up the local news right now and tell them I have their next big story. I would have them come out to the farm with all their cameras, go out into the field and pronounce that I am doing the locals a favor and putting down all my pigs so there is no chance of spreading the swine flu to the town and then proceed to shoot every pig in the pen on live t.v. I'm guessing I would then be pronounced the greatest man alive. The interview would go something like this.

Stupid local reporter douche: So why have you called us out here today.
Me: Well these GD pigs are infecting everyone with their stupid flu, so I thought I would just do my part and stop them from infecting anybody.
Stupic local reporter douche: Well sir, I must say this is a very noble thing you are doing, I mean you're gonna waste your whole years income.
Me: Yes sir, but I'm a goddamn American and this is what needs to be done. We should probably just start putting down Mexicans like this too. That way the Economy will turn around also and they will stop stealing our jobs.
Stupid local reporter douche: Well let me just be the first to say that you sir are a true Patriot.
Me: Fuck yeah.

God we are so fucked.