If you're easily offended stop reading now.
This is as far as you want to go.
For those of you still reading, you may or may not agree with everything I have to say here, but guess what that's why I'm writing it and not you.
Check back daily and I may or may not have updated, depending on how drunk or pissed I may be at any one time.
If you're reading this because you're looking for some political or social commentary on what it means to be living in the time of the death of the American Dream, somehow you have been misguided. I'm just gonna tell you about what pisses me off in-between jerk-off sessions, drinking and naps. Sorry.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

This Week's Top 10

I've been in an unusually good mood lately so this weeks top 10 is going to be a break from the norm. This week it's the top 10 things I like right now. Don't worry there's still plenty of shit I hate right now, but even I have to take a break from hating shit so I don't kill myself.

10. This Shirt- This is what I will be getting pops for Father's day.
9. This Chair- I'm sick of crushing my balls all the time. It's about time somebody cured this problem for me.
8. Naps-Who doesn't like naps. People with careers, and family's, and friends who will acknowledge them in public. Fuck those people.
7. Brett Favre- Lots of people hate him, but not me. I hope he comes back for the next 15 seasons, as long as it's not for the Browns.
6. This photo gallery-That is all.
5. Smashing one out and then taking a nap-Makes your nap so much more enjoyable after you've just violated yourself.
4. Fingerblasting-I just love that word. I'm pretty sure it's my all-time favorite word, besides fuck. Fuck you can just use more in day to day conversation.
3. Not blacking out for an entire weekend-It's been awhile since I've been able to accomplish this very lofty goal, but barring any incident tonight I should be good.
2. My future Wife- It's not stalking if you don't get caught right.
1. This Guy-You didn't think I could really go a whole week and not mention this fucking tool. I'm currently working on my own wikipedia page. Right now I'm getting to the part where I track down and rip out Fred Durst's vocal chords, so nobody has to hear his shit ever again, and then I am proclaimed "The greatest man alive". Best wikipedia page ever.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

This Week's Top 10

10. Tila Tequila-Is it too much to ask for her to catch a case of Super Herpes.
9. Saddlebag's Wilson-I'm still pissed about the armpit hair in my beer incident. Fuck you Wilson.
8. Oprah-I've been saying for years that this cunt is a fucking retard. Stupid housewives with no life and who contribute nothing to society are the only people who put any stock in anything Oprah has to say.
7. David Stern-He fined Lebron 25 Grand this week for walking off the court and not doing any post game interviews. He's the face of the League and has been the perfect role model from the day he went pro. He is what you would want every athlete to be, freakishly talented good teammate and good of the court. Give him a pass you fucking moron.
6. Beer-Since I recently gave up whiskey I've been drinking lots more of it and it's making me bloated as fuck and it takes me like 15 of them to get a buzz, and if I drink a shitload of draft beer the next day is gonna be brutal. I hate to say it but me and whiskey might be "hooking back up".
5. I'm a Celebrity hunt me down and shoot me in the face-This isn't even worth hate watching, I tried 5 minutes of that shit until these 2 showed up on the T.V. I wish alot of bad things on alot of people but AIDS wouldn't be enough for these 2.
4. People who follow Tiger Woods around the golf course all day-I spent Friday at The Memorial Tournament with a buddy of mine and he's never seen Tiger golf before so naturally he wants to follow him all day. I didn't mind since he's never seen him before but fuck, the amount of annoying fucks following him all day is unbearable. If you go to a PGA event this year avoid the Tiger herd like the plague.
3. Deodarant-Pitting is at an all time high for me right now and this deodarant I'm using is fucking my PH all up. I can be sitting down in air conditioning not even the slightes bit warm and my pits are flowing, it's ruining my day.
2. Obviously-He's been dethrowned this week by the biggest bitch on the planet.
1. Kate from John and Kate plus 8-Listen up bitch, nobody gives a fuck about your 8 kids,or your stupid fucking haircut. Watch 2 seconds of this show and you can tell that husband wants nothing to do with her and is only there for the money. I hate that stupid fucking van they drive. I hate everything about this cunt. She should leave the husband marry Fred Durst and drive that van off a fucking cliff with them both in it. That would be the greatest day of my fucking life.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Fuck you, you fat cunt

If you drive a red Honda Accord Ohio license plate ANT LALA. I fucking hate you, you studid fucking cunt. Learn what a fucking turn signal is you fat bitch, and the bitch is a Steelers fan of course.