Welcome, and GO FUCK YOURSELF

If you're easily offended stop reading now.
This is as far as you want to go.
For those of you still reading, you may or may not agree with everything I have to say here, but guess what that's why I'm writing it and not you.
Check back daily and I may or may not have updated, depending on how drunk or pissed I may be at any one time.
If you're reading this because you're looking for some political or social commentary on what it means to be living in the time of the death of the American Dream, somehow you have been misguided. I'm just gonna tell you about what pisses me off in-between jerk-off sessions, drinking and naps. Sorry.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Hey Fuckface, nobody likes your kids but you.

I'm sure most people reading this are on Facebook or are at least familiar enough with it that you know what it's about. I'm also sure most of you know of my hatred for Twitter-if not you can read about it here.Anyway my point here is I'm slowly starting to feel the same way about Facebook that I do about Twitter.

I understand when you're a parent you want to take a bunch of photos of your baby so you and your kid can look back at them later in life and reminisce, that's great. WOO-HOO, you were so cute back then, and didn't make me regret the poor life choice I now realize I made by birthing you.
What pisses me off to no-end though is every one of you fucking assholes posting 50 million photos of your little bundle of joy on your page and telling me to check them out. I've met the fucking kid it's not that great.
I don't need you to send me a message telling me you just uploaded a bunch of pictures of the little fuckstain opening presents at it's last b-day party. I don't fucking give a shit, and neither does anybody else. One day you're gonna wish there was a way to cover up all evidence that you spawned that thing-just like my mom does everyday, and posting these fucking pictures all over the place for everyone to see is not a good start. Oh yeah, and before I forget-nobody likes your fucking pets besides you either jerk-off.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Stuff I hate right now

The Judicial System-I'm entangled in it currently and it's not fun. It's the reason I'm drinking a whiskey on the rocks at 3:35 on a Tuesday. That's right now for you morons reading this.
Women-kiss my dick.
I'm sorry about that last comment ladies, that's the booze talking.
Michael Vick-I can't get away with killing Fred Durst and this guy kills tens of dogs and is now making more than anybody reading this. This pisses me off so much I'm gonna punch a bum later.
Fall-It's coming around the corner and it means the end of golf season for me since I'm stuck in Ohio for another couple months. It also means the beginning of Football season which I like, but that brings out my least favorite people on the face of the Earth too. Steelers fans and people yelling O-H, and expecting me to say I-O instead of kicking them in the dick.

Listen up whores

If you're a woman at a bar, with a white baby doll t-shirt on, no bra, and nipples sticking out that could cut glass, don't get so goddamn pissed when I try and pinch them and sneak in a little nibble. Fucking prude.
Look it's not my fault daddy didn't love you enough-or maybe too much, either way who fucking cares. Don't get all slutted up, sloppy drunk, looking for attention and then offended when I notice it and want to play with your fun little nips. Also 9 out of 10 women polled this weekend agree that I am witty and classicly handsome. True story.

Monday, August 24, 2009

I was, having a good day.


I haven't been my usual super angry self lately. I don't know if it's because I don't have a job right now and no real stress that comes from having one, but anyway I happened across a picture of these fucking d-bags and my blood pressure went strait through the fucking roof. For those of you who don't know who these guys are, they are the grandsons of John Gotti, and used to have their own reality show. Shocker I know. Anyway, these fucking losers are everything I hate in one picture. As far as I'm concerned Jersey could fall off the East Coast and into the Atlantic Ocean and nobody would even fucking miss it. God dammit this country is full of idiots. I hate the one in the middle's face the most. Lots of people always ask me why I hate a particular thing and I never have a good enough reason to give them so I usually just say "Because I fucking can that's why", but with these guys, I mean just look at them. I'm pissed that I'm wasting this much time just talking about them. I'm gonna go smash one out and take a nap, and get back to a happy place. Fuck I'm pissed.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Everything you ever wanted to know about ramming it up your special lady friends backdoor.

I would not be surprised at all if my friend Dave wrote this article.

Why can't you just Die already.

Death from massive blunt trauma to the head is the only acceptable news story I ever want to hear again about this bitch.

I'm a Fucking Dumbass

Raise your hand if you've ever spent an hour and a half looking through your entire house, ripping apart everything, cussing at the dogs, and just generally looking like a lunatic, searching for a cell phone that is IN YOUR FUCKING POCKET. Dammit I hate being hungover.

This might come in handy for you sometime.

Found this and thought some of you might find it useful.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I want to be President of France

Click Here Dummies
I wonder if she's into guys with lots of free time and no drivers license, and a rapist wit. Come to think of it, I should just put an application on here for girls to fill out that want to date me.
Nah,
Then I'll just have to spend all day going through shit tons of applications, who has time for that shit.

Yay Bus Ride

So I rode the bus for the first time today, not on my way to a football game to get tanked. I guess I should preface this with why I'm on the bus in the first place. Last night I was having some cocktails and went to the restroom to relieve myself and decided to place a few phone calls while doing so, great fucking idea I know. While in the course of this I bump my elbow on some stupid shelf on the wall and knock the phone out of my hand and it lands strait in the toilet as I'm flushing it. So I hurry up and grab the phone as it's getting sucked into the abyss of the local sewage system. I tried turning it back on a couple times but it would only flash on for a second and then turn right off, so I take the battery out cause I've gotten plenty of phones wet and I know to separate the two and let it dry out. I notice that the battery's indicator is showing it's fucked, but the phone is fine. So I decide to go to the phone store in the morning and get a new battery.

I wake up and look up the nearest phone store on the internets, and take off on my bike to get the battery. I get to the store and the dipshit working there informs me that they don't sell batteries just the phones. I tell him that those phones come with batteries and just take one out of the fucking box and put it in my phone and see if it fucking works. He says he can't open a box because they're sealed and that voids the warranty. I leave and get directions to a battery store before I get any more pissed here and start breaking shit.

It's quite a hike and I don't feel like biking it cause I'm hungover and I hop on the bus. When I get on I take one of the two remaining seats left, thank god it was in the front and not downwind from the somalian guy in the back who had the worst b.o. and was telling somebody a story about how's he's found out where to shower for free and now he takes like two showers a week. Obviously he's lying. We make a stop in the middle of campus and this fairly attractive blonde gets on and sits next to me. I'm sweating profusely after the bike ride and getting my blood pressure up at the phone store. She immediately takes notice and asks why I'm soaking with sweat. I think of lying but then I just tell her I was riding my bike before I got on the bus and it's hot and I sweat alot. This not being enough to satisfy her curiosity she asks me why am I on the bus now and where's my bike since there weren't any on the bike rack on the front of the bus(I had ridden over to a friends and left it with him after I left the phone store). So I decide to tell her the whole story. Where I'm going, why my phone is fucked, why I can't drive, how my friend fell in a fish pond at a bar, wandered around the bar parking lot in just a flip flop and his boxers soaking wet. Got a DUI. She turns and looks me strait in the face and says "Why I can't imagine why some girl hasn't just snatched you right up already". I now love riding the bus.

Monday, August 10, 2009

These are great

These are my two new favorite websites. Check'em out.

Fucking Movie Reviews
The Fucking Weather

Dyke cops suck my balls.

I was recently taken into custody for operating a motor vehicle while under the impairment of alcohol, allegedly. Even though I passed the field sobriety test with flying colors, while wearing a shirt that's not to "gay friendly". I had the feeling the two male officers were sympathetic to my situation. I had a soaking wet friend who had fallen in a gold fish pond at the bar. Who I had to quickly get out of the bar, sitting in the backseat, but that's a story for another time. Anyway, I was convinced they would let me go, but officer bull dyke was having none of it and insisted I be taken into custody. So I spent the next three hours sitting in a police station in handcuffs looking at pornhub.com with the cops there and refusing to blow into their stupid machine, and just having a generally shitty time.

I'm back bitches.

I've been gone for awhile but I'm back now and as pissed off as ever. I'll be bringing lots of updates and informing you of everything that's out there worth hating, which if you know me is fucking everything. You would think with endless amounts of free time and nothing to do to fill it I would be able to complete the simple task of sitting here in my undies and typing out all the shit I hate on a regular basis, but I have proved even that is too hefty a task. So have no fear, I'm back and won't be leaving you again anytime soon, go fuck yourselves. The Bear.