If you're easily offended stop reading now.
This is as far as you want to go.
For those of you still reading, you may or may not agree with everything I have to say here, but guess what that's why I'm writing it and not you.
Check back daily and I may or may not have updated, depending on how drunk or pissed I may be at any one time.
If you're reading this because you're looking for some political or social commentary on what it means to be living in the time of the death of the American Dream, somehow you have been misguided. I'm just gonna tell you about what pisses me off in-between jerk-off sessions, drinking and naps. Sorry.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Favorite quotes

I drink alot and say some off the wall shit sometimes and so do my friends. These are some of the better quotes and conversations. More of these to come.

I wanna make a mess in your mouth

I would do horrible things to your vagina

Question: I blacked out on a Monday, what am I doing with myself
Answer: Succeeding

I would take an STD from a hot bitch. A curable one I mean, not one of those that you're stuck with for life.

That bitch is a bitch.

If people get me, they're cool.

Girl: Where are my jeans and panties.
Me: I don't know look under the bed.
Girl: Look you can have the panties if you're into that kind of shit, but I need my pants to get out of here.
Me: First off, that's kind of funny. But now, even if I did know where you're pants are I'm not telling you, so you can just go hail a cab out of here in your t-shirt.

Me talking to a Cop: I didn't pee on that guys leg. Go take a DNA sample of the pee on his leg and I guarantee that's not my piss.