If you're easily offended stop reading now.
This is as far as you want to go.
For those of you still reading, you may or may not agree with everything I have to say here, but guess what that's why I'm writing it and not you.
Check back daily and I may or may not have updated, depending on how drunk or pissed I may be at any one time.
If you're reading this because you're looking for some political or social commentary on what it means to be living in the time of the death of the American Dream, somehow you have been misguided. I'm just gonna tell you about what pisses me off in-between jerk-off sessions, drinking and naps. Sorry.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

This Week's Top 10

10. Mike Brown-You have the best player in basketball on your team and you can't find a way to beat the Magic. I was a supporter of this guy but obviously I was wrong. I'm pretty sure I could get high on crack and do a better job than this guy.
9. The dick who put the little metal fence along the edge of the patio at Will's Tavern in Chicago. I tumbled over said fence and my foot caught in it and I fell into a bush. What are you protecting with that fence fuckhead, the mulch. Take it down.
8. Deodarant- I've gone through about 6 different kinds of deodarant in the last couple months and none of them are working. I don't stink but as soon as I put it on in the morning I start pitting like it's my job. My ph is all fucked up I guess. Do not buy Right Guard with the power stripe unless you have thick skin, that shit ate the skin off my armpits, horrible.
7. My Beard-I'm getting lots of jokes at the expense of my beard, and it's getting old.
6.Paul Schaffer- A friendof mine recently reminded me how big a fucking douche this guy is, enjoy the video.
5. John Mayer- I've hated this guy's music for quite awhile but it seems like he's in the news more and more lately and I don't even know what for. He make's music for soccer mom's to jam out too on the way to their stupid fucking kids games. Fuck John Mayer.
4. The girl who made out with my friend the Jew saturday at Will's took him home and would only give him an H.J. Who the fuck still gives Handy's you cunt, we're not in high school anymore and any guy over the age of 10 is better at doing it to himself than you.
3. Saddlebag's Wilson- This dick of a friend of mine decided that me tumbling into the bush at the Will's saturday wasn't embarrasing enough for me so he decided to yank out a couple of my roomate's armpit hairs and drop them in my beer when I wasn't looking. Thanks goober. You're gonna get yours next time I'm in Chicago.
2. Karma-constantly biting me in the ass. Fuck Karma.
1. Obviously this guy is not being dethrowned anytime soon. This year for Christmas I'm asking Santa for my favorite lead singer to catch the HIV.