If you're easily offended stop reading now.
This is as far as you want to go.
For those of you still reading, you may or may not agree with everything I have to say here, but guess what that's why I'm writing it and not you.
Check back daily and I may or may not have updated, depending on how drunk or pissed I may be at any one time.
If you're reading this because you're looking for some political or social commentary on what it means to be living in the time of the death of the American Dream, somehow you have been misguided. I'm just gonna tell you about what pisses me off in-between jerk-off sessions, drinking and naps. Sorry.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

This weeks Top 10

10. Tila Tequila-why is this bitch even famous. She looks like a gremlin and somebody needs to kick this bitch in the cunt. Stat.
9. Glenn "Big Baby" Davis-He hits the game winning shot in last nights celtics-magic game meaning more Paul Pierce on my T.V. which is enough of a reason to hate him. But then he has to bowl over some kid in the stands after making the shot and then gives the worst post game interview. He could not have sounded more like a caveman. Fuck this dude.
8. Baseball-See the below post.
7. Minnesota Vikings-There are alot of people out there bitching about my beloved Brett Favre coming back and I blame this squarely on the Vikes. He isn't the one soliciting this, they are coming after him and my favorite sports channel of all time won't stop talking about it and pissing everyone off.
6. Tila Tequila-I really hate this bitch right now and I'm lazy so I'm putting her on here twice. Somebody please smack the shit out of her.
5. My Fucking Hair-It's fallen back to Number 5 this week from Number 2. It's looking a little better this week, and I've decided to try and grow a beard and it's not working out so well so I'm more pissed about that.
4. My Beard-I've always been lacadasical about the shaving and since I currently have no reason too, I've decided to grow a beard for the NHL playoffs even though my team is out, it's as good a reason anyway, but somehow my face is unable to grow hair in a one inch square on my face and it's really fucking this up for me.
3. Whiskey-I've loved you for so long but I've decided to take a little break from you. I mean you almost killed me last week, not to mention you're constantly getting me kicked out of bars and also to blame for all the recent falls that I've had. It's not you it's me. If we're meant to be together we will come back to each other, but for now it's over.
2. Fred Durst-Mister consistency. I can't wait for this talked about new Limp Bizkit album to come out.
1. I'm a Celebrity get me out of here- I saw a commercial for this show last night and there is not a single person on this show who is a celebrity. Heidi and Spencer, Janice Dickinson, Stephen Baldwin, these people are famous for being fucking pathetic. They are dropping these people in the jungle or some shit and have to live there for a month. They should call this "I'm a douchebag and somebody needs to hunt me down in this jungle and shoot me on live T.V. I'd fucking watch that.