Yay Bus Ride

So I rode the bus for the first time today, not on my way to a football game to get tanked. I guess I should preface this with why I'm on the bus in the first place. Last night I was having some cocktails and went to the restroom to relieve myself and decided to place a few phone calls while doing so, great fucking idea I know. While in the course of this I bump my elbow on some stupid shelf on the wall and knock the phone out of my hand and it lands strait in the toilet as I'm flushing it. So I hurry up and grab the phone as it's getting sucked into the abyss of the local sewage system. I tried turning it back on a couple times but it would only flash on for a second and then turn right off, so I take the battery out cause I've gotten plenty of phones wet and I know to separate the two and let it dry out. I notice that the battery's indicator is showing it's fucked, but the phone is fine. So I decide to go to the phone store in the morning and get a new battery.

I wake up and look up the nearest phone store on the internets, and take off on my bike to get the battery. I get to the store and the dipshit working there informs me that they don't sell batteries just the phones. I tell him that those phones come with batteries and just take one out of the fucking box and put it in my phone and see if it fucking works. He says he can't open a box because they're sealed and that voids the warranty. I leave and get directions to a battery store before I get any more pissed here and start breaking shit.

It's quite a hike and I don't feel like biking it cause I'm hungover and I hop on the bus. When I get on I take one of the two remaining seats left, thank god it was in the front and not downwind from the somalian guy in the back who had the worst b.o. and was telling somebody a story about how's he's found out where to shower for free and now he takes like two showers a week. Obviously he's lying. We make a stop in the middle of campus and this fairly attractive blonde gets on and sits next to me. I'm sweating profusely after the bike ride and getting my blood pressure up at the phone store. She immediately takes notice and asks why I'm soaking with sweat. I think of lying but then I just tell her I was riding my bike before I got on the bus and it's hot and I sweat alot. This not being enough to satisfy her curiosity she asks me why am I on the bus now and where's my bike since there weren't any on the bike rack on the front of the bus(I had ridden over to a friends and left it with him after I left the phone store). So I decide to tell her the whole story. Where I'm going, why my phone is fucked, why I can't drive, how my friend fell in a fish pond at a bar, wandered around the bar parking lot in just a flip flop and his boxers soaking wet. Got a DUI. She turns and looks me strait in the face and says "Why I can't imagine why some girl hasn't just snatched you right up already". I now love riding the bus.

These are great

These are my two new favorite websites. Check'em out.

Fucking Movie Reviews
The Fucking Weather

Dyke cops suck my balls.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I'm back bitches.

I've been gone for awhile but I'm back now and as pissed off as ever. I'll be bringing lots of updates and informing you of everything that's out there worth hating, which if you know me is fucking everything. You would think with endless amounts of free time and nothing to do to fill it I would be able to complete the simple task of sitting here in my undies and typing out all the shit I hate on a regular basis, but I have proved even that is too hefty a task. So have no fear, I'm back and won't be leaving you again anytime soon, go fuck yourselves. The Bear.

This Week's Top 10

I've been in an unusually good mood lately so this weeks top 10 is going to be a break from the norm. This week it's the top 10 things I like right now. Don't worry there's still plenty of shit I hate right now, but even I have to take a break from hating shit so I don't kill myself.

10. This Shirt- This is what I will be getting pops for Father's day.
9. This Chair- I'm sick of crushing my balls all the time. It's about time somebody cured this problem for me.
8. Naps-Who doesn't like naps. People with careers, and family's, and friends who will acknowledge them in public. Fuck those people.
7. Brett Favre- Lots of people hate him, but not me. I hope he comes back for the next 15 seasons, as long as it's not for the Browns.
6. This photo gallery-That is all.
5. Smashing one out and then taking a nap-Makes your nap so much more enjoyable after you've just violated yourself.
4. Fingerblasting-I just love that word. I'm pretty sure it's my all-time favorite word, besides fuck. Fuck you can just use more in day to day conversation.
3. Not blacking out for an entire weekend-It's been awhile since I've been able to accomplish this very lofty goal, but barring any incident tonight I should be good.
2. My future Wife- It's not stalking if you don't get caught right.
1. This Guy-You didn't think I could really go a whole week and not mention this fucking tool. I'm currently working on my own wikipedia page. Right now I'm getting to the part where I track down and rip out Fred Durst's vocal chords, so nobody has to hear his shit ever again, and then I am proclaimed "The greatest man alive". Best wikipedia page ever.

This Week's Top 10

10. Tila Tequila-Is it too much to ask for her to catch a case of Super Herpes.
9. Saddlebag's Wilson-I'm still pissed about the armpit hair in my beer incident. Fuck you Wilson.
8. Oprah-I've been saying for years that this cunt is a fucking retard. Stupid housewives with no life and who contribute nothing to society are the only people who put any stock in anything Oprah has to say.
7. David Stern-He fined Lebron 25 Grand this week for walking off the court and not doing any post game interviews. He's the face of the League and has been the perfect role model from the day he went pro. He is what you would want every athlete to be, freakishly talented good teammate and good of the court. Give him a pass you fucking moron.
6. Beer-Since I recently gave up whiskey I've been drinking lots more of it and it's making me bloated as fuck and it takes me like 15 of them to get a buzz, and if I drink a shitload of draft beer the next day is gonna be brutal. I hate to say it but me and whiskey might be "hooking back up".
5. I'm a Celebrity hunt me down and shoot me in the face-This isn't even worth hate watching, I tried 5 minutes of that shit until these 2 showed up on the T.V. I wish alot of bad things on alot of people but AIDS wouldn't be enough for these 2.
4. People who follow Tiger Woods around the golf course all day-I spent Friday at The Memorial Tournament with a buddy of mine and he's never seen Tiger golf before so naturally he wants to follow him all day. I didn't mind since he's never seen him before but fuck, the amount of annoying fucks following him all day is unbearable. If you go to a PGA event this year avoid the Tiger herd like the plague.
3. Deodarant-Pitting is at an all time high for me right now and this deodarant I'm using is fucking my PH all up. I can be sitting down in air conditioning not even the slightes bit warm and my pits are flowing, it's ruining my day.
2. Obviously-He's been dethrowned this week by the biggest bitch on the planet.
1. Kate from John and Kate plus 8-Listen up bitch, nobody gives a fuck about your 8 kids,or your stupid fucking haircut. Watch 2 seconds of this show and you can tell that husband wants nothing to do with her and is only there for the money. I hate that stupid fucking van they drive. I hate everything about this cunt. She should leave the husband marry Fred Durst and drive that van off a fucking cliff with them both in it. That would be the greatest day of my fucking life.

Fuck you, you fat cunt

If you drive a red Honda Accord Ohio license plate ANT LALA. I fucking hate you, you studid fucking cunt. Learn what a fucking turn signal is you fat bitch, and the bitch is a Steelers fan of course.