Last Week's Top 10

Sorry I'm a little late putting this up, I've been busy trying to find a cure for "Swine Flu" and by Swine Flu I mean my hangovers.

10. Tila Tequila-I checked and she is still alive and I am not too happy about this people.

9. Driving-I'm getting really sick of it lately and people on the roads are not helping me with this. Pretty soon I'm going to be carrying a box of nails in the car and randomly just throwing them out the window.

8. The Cold-I have one and it sucks my sleeve is covered in my own mucus and my throat is killing me. We really don't have a cure for this yet, fucking ridiculous.

7. My Golf Game-It has recently taken a nose dive and I really don't have anything to blame it on but myself and I'm not too happy about it. So I'm blaming it on Fred Durst.

6. Daisy of Love-It's bad enough they had a second season of Rock of Love, now they are taking one of the whores from the first show who didn't win and giving her a show. If you are feeling down about your life just watch 5 minutes of the douchebags on there trying to win a "date" with this diseased whore and you will feel like "the most interesting man in the world" from the dos equis commercial.

5. My Fucking Hair-I recently got a new haircut so I'm not as pissed as I have been in the last week's with it so it's hovering in the middle of the pack right now.

4. The Boston Celtics-I'm actually putting them up here because I'm glad their gone and I don't have to see Paul Pierce and his chin pubes on my T.V. anymore, thank god Orlando finally didn't blow a fourth quarter lead.

3. My Beard-Not much improvement here in the last week. I'm thinking maybe a can of spray on hair will fix this patch that won't grow on my face.

2. Cats-I was around some this weekend and I'm allergic to them and I'm convinced this is why I'm getting sick now. I have no actual medical proof to base this on I just have decided that I hate cats and they have now made me sick. Fuck cats. I kick them when people aren't looking.

1. Fred Durst-Limp Bizkit has just finished up their European reunion tour and now they are in the studio to record a new album.(leaves room and finds needle to puncture own eardrums)The only thing that could make me happier now is if Insane Clown Posse release an album at the same time.