Hey Fuckface, nobody likes your kids but you.

I'm sure most people reading this are on Facebook or are at least familiar enough with it that you know what it's about. I'm also sure most of you know of my hatred for Twitter-if not you can read about it here.Anyway my point here is I'm slowly starting to feel the same way about Facebook that I do about Twitter.

I understand when you're a parent you want to take a bunch of photos of your baby so you and your kid can look back at them later in life and reminisce, that's great. WOO-HOO, you were so cute back then, and didn't make me regret the poor life choice I now realize I made by birthing you.
What pisses me off to no-end though is every one of you fucking assholes posting 50 million photos of your little bundle of joy on your page and telling me to check them out. I've met the fucking kid it's not that great.
I don't need you to send me a message telling me you just uploaded a bunch of pictures of the little fuckstain opening presents at it's last b-day party. I don't fucking give a shit, and neither does anybody else. One day you're gonna wish there was a way to cover up all evidence that you spawned that thing-just like my mom does everyday, and posting these fucking pictures all over the place for everyone to see is not a good start. Oh yeah, and before I forget-nobody likes your fucking pets besides you either jerk-off.

Stuff I hate right now

The Judicial System-I'm entangled in it currently and it's not fun. It's the reason I'm drinking a whiskey on the rocks at 3:35 on a Tuesday. That's right now for you morons reading this.
Women-kiss my dick.
I'm sorry about that last comment ladies, that's the booze talking.
Michael Vick-I can't get away with killing Fred Durst and this guy kills tens of dogs and is now making more than anybody reading this. This pisses me off so much I'm gonna punch a bum later.
Fall-It's coming around the corner and it means the end of golf season for me since I'm stuck in Ohio for another couple months. It also means the beginning of Football season which I like, but that brings out my least favorite people on the face of the Earth too. Steelers fans and people yelling O-H, and expecting me to say I-O instead of kicking them in the dick.

Listen up whores

If you're a woman at a bar, with a white baby doll t-shirt on, no bra, and nipples sticking out that could cut glass, don't get so goddamn pissed when I try and pinch them and sneak in a little nibble. Fucking prude.
Look it's not my fault daddy didn't love you enough-or maybe too much, either way who fucking cares. Don't get all slutted up, sloppy drunk, looking for attention and then offended when I notice it and want to play with your fun little nips. Also 9 out of 10 women polled this weekend agree that I am witty and classicly handsome. True story.

I was, having a good day.

I haven't been my usual super angry self lately. I don't know if it's because I don't have a job right now and no real stress that comes from having one, but anyway I happened across a picture of these fucking d-bags and my blood pressure went strait through the fucking roof. For those of you who don't know who these guys are, they are the grandsons of John Gotti, and used to have their own reality show. Shocker I know. Anyway, these fucking losers are everything I hate in one picture. As far as I'm concerned Jersey could fall off the East Coast and into the Atlantic Ocean and nobody would even fucking miss it. God dammit this country is full of idiots. I hate the one in the middle's face the most. Lots of people always ask me why I hate a particular thing and I never have a good enough reason to give them so I usually just say "Because I fucking can that's why", but with these guys, I mean just look at them. I'm pissed that I'm wasting this much time just talking about them. I'm gonna go smash one out and take a nap, and get back to a happy place. Fuck I'm pissed.

Everything you ever wanted to know about ramming it up your special lady friends backdoor.

I would not be surprised at all if my friend Dave wrote this article.

Why can't you just Die already.

Death from massive blunt trauma to the head is the only acceptable news story I ever want to hear again about this bitch.

I'm a Fucking Dumbass

Raise your hand if you've ever spent an hour and a half looking through your entire house, ripping apart everything, cussing at the dogs, and just generally looking like a lunatic, searching for a cell phone that is IN YOUR FUCKING POCKET. Dammit I hate being hungover.